Sibling rivalry can be tough for everyone to deal with in the family – the bickering, arguing, fighting and crying. Be preventative by talking to kids at an early age about the best way to deal with their brothers and sisters. The following can be big concepts for young children to understand, but start talking to kids about it when they are kindergarten age and they will pick them up over time. Here are three key things kids can learn that can help them with their relationships with others.

Child Has 100 Per Cent Power to Influence Siblings

Tell the child that she has great power to influence her brothers and sisters, in fact 100 per cent. She gets to decide how she will communicate with her siblings. She can choose to hit, push, yell or put down her sibling to get the toy or item that she wants. This might get what they want in the short-term, but it doesn’t lead to a good relationship in the long-term. Being verbally and physically abusive makes people not want to share with her and over time, make them not want to play or be with her either.

Instead, offering one of her toys to play with and speaking in a kind and respectful manner are ways that are more likely to create a positive relationship over time and will also make the person more likely to share in the immediate situation. Emphasize that the child has the power (who doesn’t like to feel powerful?) and that she has to use it wisely.

Explain to Kids that Relationships Are Fifty-Fifty

Although a child has complete control of her behavior, when it comes to a relationship it is fifty-fifty because two people are involved. She controls half of the relationship and the person she is dealing with has the other fifty per cent. She can control how nicely she asks for the toy and do all she can to make it an inviting offer to swap a toy, but she cannot make him hand over the toy if he does not want to. He gets to control his behavior and he can choose not to share.

Teach Children to Respect Others When They Say “No”

It’s important to teach kids to respect the word “no.” Even if the child has asked very nicely and offered her best toy in trade, if her brother says he doesn’t want to share then his word stands. Get her to empathize by asking her how she feels if she says “no” about sharing something and the other person does not respect her words. Make honoring the word “no” an important boundary for everyone in the family.

Sigh, I hate scolding students. and it doesn't help when they are defensive and make me think I accused them wrongly. It makes me feel very bad for the rest of the day. I've always thought I'm pretty good with disciplining children...but correcting youths is so much more complicated and tricky. Sometimes I don't really know what to say to convince them.  It's so difficult not to lose my temper when I'm actually really short-tempered.